i wait for you
by writer4everr
Summary: the goodbye hurts. it always had, and it always will, but somehow, they make it work and it's always worth it in the end. sasusaku, post ch. 699.


i.

He's leaving again, and it physically pains her. She's seen the sight of his retreating back so many times; it's left her nearly traumatized. But this time it's a little different. This goodbye, there's no blood or tears in sight. She isn't screaming at him with her throat choking with sobs. In all manners of speaking, it's a peaceful sort of goodbye, though she feels anything but peaceful on the inside.

The three of them stand at the edge of the village. Kakashi tells him in a matter-of-fact tone that he's been pardoned. He says it coolly, but Sakura knows just how viciously her former teacher fought to keep his former student from execution. She thinks Sasuke knows this too, for there's a soft look of gratefulness in his murky eyes.

Sakura asks him one final time to stay. And it's as if her twelve year old self has resurfaced as she echoes her wish to be by his side, just as she did all those years ago when Orochimaru seduced him with power. He says no, of course. But, the rejection still delivers a sharp sting. Sasuke hurts her in ways no one else can and she loathes him for that. She loathes herself for being so vulnerable.

Her body goes rigid, desperately seeking retreat. Suddenly though, there's a soft pressure on her forehead and she looks up, puzzled, only to see him, inches away. A soft flush starts as a blush across her cheeks but it radiates all throughout her body, ending in her toes. A part of her feels ashamed that just a simple touch from him can have her like this, but that shame quickly dissipates when he utters:

"I'll see you when I'm back…and thank you."

Sakura's never seen that look in his eyes before, but she decides right then and there she wants to see it more. Her chin barely moves in a nod, her eyes unblinking, wanting to sear this moment into her memory. There's the faintest of smiles on his lips and as she watches him turn around, she finds comfort in the fact that it's not as painful to watch him go.

Kakashi chuckles at her side, "I'll be damned".

ii.

Months go by, but she steels herself. She's waited several years already, a couple months are nothing. When the slightest bit of doubt crosses her she replays the affectionate gesture in her mind. _I'll see you when I'm back. I'll see you when I'm back. I'll see you when I'm back_. Sakura lets the warmth of those words wash away the doubt and she continues on, busying herself with another patient.

The hospital keeps her occupied, and it's a little niche where Sakura feels she truly shines. Healing is her specialty, her little superpower. As the saying goes, with great power comes great responsibility, so carries out that great responsibility of hers and in no time, several more months go by.

She's walking home from a late shift, when she hears the swoop of wings beat behind her. Talons pinch her shoulder lightly as the bird lands gracefully on her shoulder. It's not until she gets over her initial shock does she turn to admire the hawk. A few seconds tick by, and it hits her_. It's a hawk. __**Sasuke.**_

Her body moves slowly as if it's just been drenched in ice, cold water. She doesn't want to get her hopes up and yet, there's his hawk summoning, with a paper clenched tightly between its shiny beak. Sakura's breath quickens as she holds out an unsteady hand for it to jump upon. The hawk does as it's trained and when she reaches to pry the paper out, its beady black eyes observe her for a second before dropping the parchment, neatly, in her palm.

She prepares to see the neat handwriting of some emissary but instead, her heart nearly jumps out of her trembling body as she sees the messy scrawl, unmistakably, belonging to Uchiha Sasuke.

Only one word is written:

_Soon_

_iii._

After she comes down from the high of _finally _hearing from him, the anger sets in. She cooks her dinner with fervor as she rages inwardly. Would it have killed him to put a date? He couldn't have at least approximated? What the hell did 'soon' even mean?

Sakura pictured him sitting at some table, laughing maniacally as he wrote his stupid letter. She imagined his inner thoughts along the lines of:_ this will keep pathetic Sakura busy for another year as I travel around the world aimlessly. _

The hawk stays, perching on her window sill. It doesn't speak, rare for a summoning and its presence is more unnerving than comforting. She wonders to herself why it doesn't just leave and return to its master.

The thought sends her spiraling back into anger. Perhaps he thought that it would be a suitable substitution for his own presence. Again she imagines what the Uchiha must have been thinking. _Sakura doesn't need me; my pet hawk is good enough for her. _

She resolves then and there, that when they do see each other again, the first thing she'll do is wrap her hands around his neck.

Kakashi visits her later, and he notices the hawk immediately.

"Sasuke visited you." He says with a tinge of amusement to his voice.

"No, his pet visited me." she scowls. The cup of sake in her hand starts to bend out of shape as she grips it in a murderous vice. "Then again, what's the difference? The bird talks just as much as Sasuke does. It's uncanny."

Kakashi just laughs softly. He's silent for a second and then he asks, "Are you going to write back?"

She blinks, "How'd you-"

"Sakura," Kakashi interrupted dryly, "I don't think Sasuke sent you his hawk to just babysit it while he was gone."

"He's a bastard." She grumbles petulantly. "I don't want to write to him."

Her teacher merely raises an eyebrow, "You always were a terrible liar, Sakura."

iv.

She does end up writing to him, or, at least attempting to. A week has gone by since she's received his letter and she's looked at the letter every day since then. Looking at the note sends a sharp stab of irritation through her but it also sends an aching sensation of longing through her. _Damn him. _

She starts her first draft of the letter:

_Screw you, you Uchiha bastard-_

No, no, was she _trying_ to keep him away longer? Sakura curses and grabs another piece of paper.

Her stomach turns, scared that she might write the wrong words. She wants him to know that she cares but she doesn't want to overwhelm him, become the infatuated twelve-year old that she once was.

The words jumble and turn in her head, but nothing sounds _right._

An hour and two headaches pass by and the words _I miss you, _are written with great care on the paper. She looks at her words with disbelief. Could she choose a more contrived phrase?

She decides it doesn't matter. It's late and she's tired so she heads to bed.

In the morning, she expects to hear the slight croon of the hawk, like she has this entire past week. The silence alarms her, and she lightly steps down the stairs, half-expecting Sasuke to be standing there in place of his bird. Of course, he isn't there. But neither is his hawk. His perch is empty and she notices a second later, so is her desk.

The papers she used to write her letter to Sasuke are scattered about the carpet and they're all there except-

She pales. The papers are all accounted for…except for her first draft, the one with her cursing the Uchiha.

Damn that stupid hawk.

v.

He's back.

She hears the news from the old lady that owns the tea shop she stops at for her lunch break. For a second she's miffed that she had to hear the news from a third-party source, but she remembers the note that got inadvertently sent to the Uchiha, and on second thought, she doesn't quite blame him.

She groans into the palms of her hands, cursing curses the stupid hawk; she curses Sasuke for leaving, and most of all she curses herself for being hung up over a guy for 90% of her life.

"Rough day at work?"

The voice immediately paralyzes her, not with fear, but with a sense of anticipation and naïve optimism. It's the voice she wants to so badly not be affected by, but she is, and she's looking up immediately, desperate to see he's okay.

"Sasuke," She looks up to see him in one piece. He's wearing a tattered cloak, and his hair has grown just a bit longer and unkempt, but it's him, _and he's safe._ She breathes a sigh of relief, before wobbling to her feet and throwing her arms around him.

She whispers his name against his neck like a litany. To her sweet surprise, she feels him reciprocate the embrace, somewhat awkwardly of course, but, nonetheless, his strong arms are wrapped around her waist and just like when he left, she wants to sear this moment on her mind, forever.

When they finally pull apart, he has a bemused expression upon his face.

It only takes a second for her to realize the cause behind his expression. Sakura groans, "You got my letter."

The corner of his mouth moves up at just the slightest angle, "It was a bit more vitriolic than I expected." His face turns serious, "I deserved those words."

"Yes, you did." She nods, pleased that he realizes that much.

He doesn't apologize, and she knows exactly why, because he'll be leaving again. Sasuke would find it insincere to apologize for something he will do again and again. Her chest aches, knowing another goodbye is to come, but she pushes that thought away, grabbing his hand.

"Let's go,"

His eyes narrow just a bit, "Where are you taking me?"

"You need a haircut. I'm going to give you one." She looks back, smiling when she sees his slightly affronted expression.

Nevertheless, he follows and halfway to her apartment she feels the gentlest pressure as he squeezes her hand, reassuringly.

* * *

><p>AN: i had to write something. sakura and sasuke are canon. that is all.

love you all, please leave me a review if you enjoyed it :)


End file.
